what i have learned in these 25 years of my life is

what i have learned in these 25 years of my life is, empathy doesn't come in a day or two. we throw this word around in the air so much but only some of us know what it actually mean.

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i often wonder, if my tears could speak, what would they say? if dark circles under my eyes could scream, what words would come out of them? if the smile I wear on my brave days breaks down, what would be the process? 

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its possible, and its actually very common that you can't relate with people going through traumas if you haven't been through one. sometimes when we are listening to others, there is a voice in our head saying "why isn't he/she moving on, its been ages now." or sometimes we try to make them feel better by taking them out or forcing them to come back to life, and its completely out of love. i get that. i do.

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but what I am trying to say is, when we go through phases of grief, loss, helplessness, avoidance and distraction doesn't help. there is a void, there is emptiness and nothing can fill that. 

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at times like these, the person feels like the burden he is carrying is the heaviest. the person might not be able to acknowledge the "truths" we try to tell them. truth is, they can't. they don't know how to. they might start telling you that your problems are nothing in front of theirs because they can't see beyond theirs. Patience, acceptance, forgiveness, moving on are processes, interlinked with each other. 

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even if you can't relate, just listen. listening is the first rule of empathy. its not necessary for you to relate with everything. don't force moving on, you can't take away the pain forcefully because it demands to be felt. 

and those who are suffering, you are not complaining or being ungrateful by talking or expressing it out.

you are very brave, you breathe each day and if that isn't bravery, I don't know what is.

love, strength and prayers, always.