Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love to be forgiven by Allah? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.Al_Quran

 

Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love to be forgiven by Allah? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.Al_Quran

Allah SWT has intentionally created human beings flawed and imperfect,so that He can test us.We are social animals as we interect and make friends we tend to build certain expectations from them.We want things to go the way we want.As people are different and flawed in their own unique ways,our expectations are bound to be betrayed.Interaction with people can be source of emotional turmoil.It's likely that they will hurt us sooner or later.our response to such reaction are most crucial as It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

Mostly,when we get hurt we tend to respond by anger and hatred.The problem with these responses are that these are shallow and  backfire.With hatred we give the offender direct access  to our mind and thoughts, which Will haunt us even more.Keeping hatred and grudges in our hearts is like  poisons that we drink and expect others to die.Why punish ourselves for someone else's mistakes?

Forgiveness sets you free and brings peace .As a believer of Islam one must be compassionate enough to forgive no matter how much pain the offender caused. Prophet Muhammad says that have mercy on people so that the one in heavens have mercy on you when meet Him at the day of judgment.There is a golden rule that treat others the way you want them to treat you,but there is also a diamond rule that treat others the way you want Allah to treat you.Forgive others as you expect Allah to forgive you.You say Allah is Ghafoor and expect Him to forgive your every sin you commit for 70 years yet you can't forgive your brother for one mistake,you expect Allah to turn blind eye on all your ill deeds and only see the good deeds yet you look at a person and all you see is a giant gaping flaw only because he hurt you once.Therefore if we want Allah's mercy we have to forgive people,there is no other option.He who demands mercy and shows none himself destroys the bridge that he himself has to pass.

Forgiveness is a Sunnah of our Prophet SAW.we always hear and read the stories of how compassionate He was .For 13 years He was brutally tortured by people of Makkah both emotionally and physically.we read the stories from childhood that how Nabi SAW was tortured.His loved ones including uncle Hazrat Hamza was murdered and his corpse was mutilated.Inspite of all these brutalities that our he faced ,he still showed mercy.After Fatah e Makkah when Muhammad SAW had the power to seek revenge ,He stood in front of people who troubled him in every possible ways,he said O people of Makkah I forgive you for everything you did to me and I have no hard feelings for anyone.Forgivness is beautiful Sunnah ,SAW never kept grudges for anyone no matter what.We call ourselves Aashiq e Rasool yet we are wronged once and keep grudges and hatred in our heart forever.

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

The degree of emotional damage is in direct relation with closeness of a relation.The probability that your best friend will hurt you is way more than a starnger ever will. Forgiveness is easy with memory of good things.It's true that they messed things up but remember the time when they were there for you when you needed someone,they believed in you at times when you didn't believe in yourself.Some may argue that forgiveness is good but you don't understand how much they hurted,the emotional damage is so deep that it's difficult to look at the good things,at these times remember that forgiveness is not about the offender and his offense at first place,it's about you & Allah,you have to forgive no matter what damage they caused because you want to be forgiven.Forgiving does not necessarily means forgetting and continuing to suffer .Sometimes we should withhold our trust  to make sure that they don't hurt us again.the world is imperfect,bad things are bound to happen,people will betray your expectations and hurt you.it's not too hard to tolerate people's flaws by understanding that they tolerate your flaws as well.If any bad thing happens we should deal with it rather than losing all our energy.The secret of healthy relations is that we should focus on the good things and deal with the bad.The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should aspire.Imagine a world filled with people willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either or both when needed?Ramadan is a month of compromise and forgiveness Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges Simplify your life.Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present.