Blessed with the best _ Alhumdulillah!a million times for every blessing in my life.
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تم نے کبھی اپنا چہرہ دیکھا ہے غور سے؟
تمہیں کبھی نہیں لگا کہ اس قدر مضبوطی دل پہ قفل لگا دیتی ہے!
تم نے کبھی ویران حویلیاں دیکھی ہیں؟
"مجھے تم ویسی لگتی ہو"
♡
تم ٹھیک سمجھی ہو
جب کوئی بستا ہوا گھر چھوڑتا ہے تو پھر یہی حال ہوتا ہے!
میرے دل کے مکیں کسی اور ٹھکانے منتقل ہو گئے تو
اس قدر تبدیلی تو متوقع ہوتی ہے نا!
I have always wondered how it's like to walk on a road with my female friends after sunset without the fear of being judged by the alarming eyes of a man sneaking around and we will be in danger. It's weird living in the same country, in the same city, in the same century, in the same year, hour and minute in the same minute but frightened of the opposite gender.
From the beginning, I have seen my mom never going out without my dad for any of the activities, me being little and thinking why is that? I have never understood why it works like this. While I have also noticed sometimes men have their old boys network, bro-codes, and other ways of collaborating and supporting each other, I haven’t seen so much happening between women. Until now. I have heard many stories of girls not being able to complete their studies because their parents want them to see in a red dress instead of a black coat and a hat, stories where I have covered up myself but still being gazed at terribly by man, the story where I m being bashed for doing something for my happiness, I remember every time I was not listened by my family, stories where I am guilty of doing the best I can do for me as well as for everyone. I see myself in every girl. When I say I understand them It means I feel them. I can feel how that genius girl in my school wished to be an engineer, but her dreams were ignored. I can feel how my cousin does not meet her friends after marriage because her in-laws don't allow her to. What if my uncle doesn't let my cousin's husband go out with friends, weird right? Yesterday a friend of mine told me where they have an industrial visit for their final year project and the girls of their batch aren't allowed to go only boys are because males can handle them. However, traditional values and expectations of women within the family and society persist. Even in modern societies, women still face discrimination in the workplace and have unequal access to career opportunities. They are over-represented in the lower levels of the organization but are under-represented in managerial and top leadership levels.
As I grew up all of it gave me thought about what life would have been like for me if I were a boy. It’s an interesting perspective, don’t you think? I wonder how the rules would differ, how many more opportunities the married girls would have, and how much more they could get away with if they were a boy. But It's just a thought, besides the fact I m very grateful for being a daughter and a sister.
Finally, all of it gave me my definition of gender equality. I am talking about gender equality where I have the support of my father my brother my uncle, my husband, my cousin and my male friend and so on. I urge gender equality in the face of respect from any man out there for every woman. Not only for the women of their homes but for the women of the world. Where they stand with my decision not against my decision.Where my father knows if his son can set up a business at the same time he can say with surety that his daughter has the power to run the business. It's a fight against abusers not against man in any form, for everyone to have freedom and experience equality. Equality in my eyes is treating people, in the same way, does not matter whatever their gender is, and giving each person the opportunity to achieve the same outcome as the next person regardless of their situation. Whenever the word gender equality comes up people start to get disconcerted by the topic. The first word in mind why? because we as a country as a citizen as a mother as a father brother sister friend male or female and so on are not ready to understand the term.
I believe Man is a supporter of a woman so do women are supporters of men. Equality is also not about achieving the same results. Gender equality does not mean equal opportunity in every space. A small woman is not able to carry the same weight as a strong man. Maybe women cannot run as fast as men. What it does mean is that each in their own space should be equally respected and feel appreciated. I do not believe in the superiority of women if she is dominating a man neither I believe in the superiority of a man if he is dominating a woman. Superiority belongs to only theocentric. I want to see that every woman in my world has the right to not be afraid of going somewhere if she is not traveling with any of the male guards. Her dreams are not getting neglected for the sake of her marriage.
This quote by Gloria Steinem always makes me believe in gender equality:
“A gender-equal society would be one where the word ‘gender’ does not exist: where everyone can be themselves.”
I am so glad to see that McDonald's has started a female delivery ridders service. Where they are providing flexible shifts, traveling allowance, and life/Accidental insurance. More needs to be done to achieve gender equality from the education of boys as well as girls to change the societal norms of male and female roles. Having more women economically active in society brings about huge benefits to companies, society, and ultimately, the country. Need to see more improvements for the betterment of society.
Let's Make yourself a priority❤️ never shrink your standards to accommodate the next person. Keep your head up, keep speaking about your mind without worrying about people. Equality shall be achieved so long as we continue empowering one another with skills necessary to break the gender stereotyping of Women.
As humans, Men and Women have rights, and a voice to ensure those rights are protected. However, in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan there is a community that has been stripped from the title of human, they have neither rights nor a voice to demand them. The Transgender community of Pakistan has faced extreme violence, hate and injustice and their crime is but one, being born.
The stigma attached to transgender has destroyed more lives than any member of government would take responsibility for. More than 65 transgender women have been murdered in the past few years only in one province of Pakistan, imagine how many went unreported overall the country. They are deprived of the love we all receive when we are born, their birth is treated as a time of mourning for the family, and instead of tears of joy they are welcomed into this world with bellows of sorrow. Most families refuse to accept them as their child and they end up on the streets or in charity centres. Throughout their lives they are exploited; mentally, physically and sexually abused. They are victims of hate crime and expected to dance to earn, expected to put on a good show and expected to sell their bodies to feed themselves.
Education is a foreign concept in their community as esteemed establishments do not enroll such ominous people. Those who are left for the streets cannot afford it and those who are reluctantly accepted into the family are not sent to schools for the fear of society and the shame they will bring to the family. They are denied from entering shopping malls, game arcades, and even most restaurants. Ever since Pakistan was created, the transgender community has been living in shadows, silent and put down.
There have been many reported cases of social violence and police brutality against the people of the community whenever they raise voices and demand rights and protection since well-educated people in the Police and Government still believe that these people are not humans and do not deserve basic rights. They have told the media that when they go to report a hate crime and demand to file an FIR, which is a basic right of every individual, they are laughed at, cursed and man handled by most high ranking police officers.
Until recently, the transgender community was not allowed by law to own property without being given a medical identity, or open a bank account in their name. Julie, a hermaphrodite and a social rights activist said “people have only now learned what it is like to be in lockdown due to the pandemic, our community has been living in lockdown ever since we were born. And still you all are better off, you have homes and families."
Hermaphrodites of this country face not one but two wars, a war with their soul first as described by Sarah Gill, another transgender, “A normal person can never understand our state of mind. It is like a soul trapped in a wrong body”. Their hearts battle with their bodies every day giving rise to extreme anxiety, restlessness and depression. The other war is their ongoing battle with society and hate.
And yet, despite the hate they unjustly get, they are loving people who give love to those who are deprived of it just like they were, they have built a strong community for everyone who feels unwelcomed In the society, they spread happiness and smiles everywhere they go. They protect each other as no one protected them and they are one of the most hardworking and resilient community In Pakistan. They refer to each other as khawaja sira or Murats i.e. a mix of “mard” (Urdu word for male) and “aurat” (Urdu word for female).
Only recently there has been some development after the passing of Transgender persons (protection of rights) Act, 2018, due to irrepressible efforts by various NGOSs such as Wajood, The Gender Guardian (TGG) and blue veins. A school purely for Murats of Pakistan was opened in 2018 in Lahore to promote education within the community, to this day it faces backlash and problems with insufficient resources. A senate committee determined that they could inherit property in Feb 2018 and Pakistani banks allowed them to open bank accounts in August 2018 by adding a box under gender in their name.
Since the act, many transgender men and women have made their mark in various professions such as the first Pakistani Transgender lawyer; Nisha Rao in 2020, the first Pakistani Transgender news anchor and media figure; Marvia Malik made her debut in 2018, the first Pakistani Transgender doctor; Sarah Gill, the first Pakistani Transgender fashion model, Kami Sid, the first Pakistani Transgender woman to represent Pakistan in the UN; Ayesha Moghul appointed in 2019 and the first Pakistani transgender chartered accountant; Mahnoor.
It was imperative to name these women as their stories are nothing short of an inspiration for millions of others. These and more have given a voice to their community and made it clear that with proper resources and support they can lead just as normal and successful lives as others. Many of these women had to let the medical board choose a gender for them, many of these women had to hide their identities throughout their education to not be kicked out of those establishments, Many of these women were manhandled and put in jail for raising their voices. All of these women were threatened and abandoned by their own families.
These women and others have made us all proud by rising through the flames of hell lit by their own fellow humans. There has been progress but the fact that these struggles were necessary is a shame. There is a long way to go before they are fully accepted as respectable members of the society but I hope that day is not far as they deserve nothing less.
Never let your guilt define your relationship with Allah.
Read it again and let that sink in.
When we make some mistake, some huge mistake, we tend to get distant from Allah. It's because we feel guilty. We feel that guilt. That now we are not worthy of Allah's attention. We feel like a thief. We feel like we will be in front of HIM but deep inside we will be thinking of how we went behind HIS back. Obviously we know HE was there and He saw us doing it. And now it might be any moment when HE will punish us for that. We wait for that punishment. We start looking for it. We are scared of the punishment.
We have guilt. All of this makes us not to go to HIM anymore.
And let me tell you that's it's Shetan working.
You are expecting the worst from THE MOST KINDEST, Your Allah.
Wasn't HE the one who blessed you with something you have been praying for so long? Wasn't HE the one who loves you more than your own mother?
Tell me how many times you made a mistake or you went behind your mother's back and she got to know about it. Yes she was upset but still she loves you. She forgave you. She still prays for you, helps you daily.
So why are you expecting so bad from HIM?
I know the mistake was big. You never thought you will do it. But you did it.
Ever thought that may be it's this mistake that's gonna make me come back to ALLAH?
We never make such mistakes when we are spiritually in a good position. We make it when we are caught up in the world. When we don't realize it but prayers don't make us feel that peace anymore.
" And may be you made that mistake so you could repent and reflect back!!!
May be this mistake is how you get the chance to get close to HIM again!!
May be when you do such mistake, think of HIS MERCY."
Repent on your mistake. Do everything in your power to make sure you never do it again. And talk to HIM. Tell HIM how you feel guilty and you are scared and you don't want to lose your relationship with HIM. Tell HIM how much you are ashamed and how you want HIM to take you back!!
Trust me with this, ALLAH loves honesty. HE loves when we are vulnerable with HIM and we share parts of us we are afraid to share with our friends and family because that's exactly where those vulnerable parts are made to be shared with!
So never let your past guilt define your future relationship with Allah!!
"I believe in being fully present,"- Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you're with- when I am talking to you, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking about whats coming up on this Friday ...
" Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry", Morrie said. "People havn't found meaning in their lives; so they are running all the time looking for it. They think the next car; the next house, the next Job. Then they find those things are empty; too, and they keep running..!!"
From the book- Tuesdays with Morrie 👣
Why weren’t we being taught that it is completely Ok to fail? Failure is also a part of life.
Why weren’t we being taught that it is completely Ok not be perfect every time.
Why are we always forced to get good results?
Why are we always expected to achieve high even more than our capacity?
It is not necessary at all to always get success, give your 100% and leave rest on Lord!!
Life should not stop there if you fail, keep on exploring and testing your limit.
Failure should be normalized in our society to control depression, anxiety, and frustration.
People need to understand that everyone cannot be Albert Einstein, Isaac newton or Thomas Edison.
Life is not a race, do not pass it, Live it fully...!!
وہ لڑکی محبت نما ہے ،
تمھیں وہ پھولوں ، پرندوں ، اور جانوروں پر بھی محبت نچھاور کرتے نظر آئیگی 💙🔥
چھوئ موئ سی ہے مگر دل کی اس قدر مضبوط ہے کہ ،
تمھیں وہ سانحوں پر بھی مسکراتی دکھائی دیگی !
کھرے لوگوں کے لیے پھول نما ہے مگر ،
تمھیں وہ منافقوں سے میلوں فاصلے رکھتی نظر آئیگی !
سرمہ ، سرخی ، سنگھار کی دلدادہ ہے مگر جھلی اس قدر ہے کہ ،
تمھیں وہ ھانڈی پکانے پہ ناک چڑھاتی دکھائی دیگی
تعلّموا الإكتفاء بأنفسكم .. كي لا ينقصكم قرب أحد أو يؤلمكم بعدہ
♥️
( اپنے آپ پر اکتفاء کرنا سیکھیں ، تاکہ نہ ہی آپکو کسی کا ساتھ نقصان پہنچاۓ اور نہ ہی کسی کی جدائ آپ کو تکلیف میں مبتلا کرے
❤️
بنا پروں کے تو تتلی بھی مر سکتی ہے
پنچھی اڑنا بھول جاتے ہیں
تم کیسے امید لگا سکتے ہو کہ میں بنا پر
ہواٶں میں اڑتی پھروں۔
مگر ہاں میں اڑنے لگتی ہوں میرے اردگرد بادلوں
کا ہجوم لگا ہوتا ہے ۔ہواٸیں مجھے آسمان کا باسی
بنا دیتی ہیں ۔اور میں ہواٶں کے ساتھ رقصاں ہوتی ہوں۔
تم میرے وہ خوش رنگ" پر" ہو جو مجھے
پل میں کہاں سے کہاں تک پہنچا دیتے ہیں ۔زمین سے آسمان تک رساٸ ہونے لگتی ہیں ۔آسمان سے اٹکیلیاں کرنے بادلوں کو چھونے لگتی ہوں ۔
دھنک کے رنگوں میں اترنے لگتی ہوں۔
پنچھیوں کے گیت سننے لگتی ہوں ۔
مگر یہ" پر" میرے وجود کا حصہ نہ رہیں تو شاید
بن پر تتلی کی مانند کوٸ وجود باقی نہ رہ
پاۓ گا ۔
ہاں میری اڑان کے لیے تمھارا ساتھ ہونا ہی اٹل ہے ۔
وہ نظم جو تمھارے وجود سے جڑی
تکمیل کے مراحل میں تھی
اب کے لگتا ہے کہ ادھوری ہی رہ جاۓ گی
کہ اسکو میرا بخت لے ڈوبا
وہ بھی وقت کے پنوں میں کسی کباڑ خانے
کے کسی سیلن زدہ حصے میں دھری
اپنی آخری سانسیں بھرتی کتابوں کے ملبے میں
بے سدھ پڑی ملے گی
دیکھو نا اب کے تمھاری خواہش بھی ادھوری رہ گٸ کہ میری لکھی نظمیں کسی کتب خانے میں شیشے کے اس پار خوبصورتی سے
سجاٸ کتابوں کے بیچ شان سے دھری ہوٸی ملیں
اور جب کبھی تمھارا گزر ہو ، گلاس ونڈو کے اس پار تمھاری غیرارادی نظر پڑتے ہی
میرے نام کے وہ مختصر حروف تھمارے لبوں
پر انمول سی مسکان کو بکھیر چھوڑیں
مگر کیا کی جۓ
کچھ چیزیں نامکمل ہی بھلی لگتی ہیں
اور ان میں سرِفہرست میری تمھارے لیے لکھی گٸیں وہ چند " نظمیں " ہیں
