Sometimes you’re 23 and reputation in the kitchen

Sometimes you’re 23 and reputation in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relations that are springing into reality. Or fading starting your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” most likely wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling fascinated in a five-minute period where wistfulness is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel unfamiliar. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a outsider to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.