I have always had some kind of weird luck.

I have always had some kind of weird luck. I called it ''last minute luck'', it works as the name expresses, in the last minute, right before I lose all kind of hopes. 
Something surprises me at the very end of things, it's like the sky clears suddenly during a tornado.
Last night I fell asleep listening to the sound of recorder going on and off and on again repeatedly, hearing the two words that seem new every time 'love you'. I dreamt of us together flying above the clouds, but the dream seemed to last too long, I tried to wake up but I couldn't, I kept flying above my body. I had to lose all hope to wake up so my luck can work, but I couldn't. 
I heard them say (she is in heaven now) but I can't see you anywhere. I think lovers don't reunite after their deaths, they are in each other all the way but they don't meet. I wish my luck would work one last time to tell mom that she won't see me in heavens as she is saying now...