I spent most of my life hiding my emotions

I spent most of my life hiding my emotions, living them in the shadow of shyness, keeping them safe from I don't know what (or too many things). I kept quiet even when the words stuck in my throat. I pretended I didn't even care when my heart was everywhere. I turned my hands in my hands to tears, not to take a step towards those who stood beside me (and of course never noticed anything).

Was it fear? Stupidity? I don't know. All I know is that today regret exceeds the logic of silence and coldness.

Now I look at you and I think about wasting time giving credit to my inner ghosts, pushing you away. Now I look at you, and i wish you hadn't taken the opposite path to the one where, despite everything, my feelings were traveling. Now I look at you, and I still can't shake my insecurities, remove them from the trouble where I suffocate everything without anything actually dying.

Is it fear? Stupidity? I don't know. All I know is that if there's a way to melt that tourniquet that crushes my soul, I can't find it without you.