We are forever wishing for some kind of sensation,

We are forever wishing for some kind of sensation, we ask to feel love, fear, happiness, sadness, pain, warmth. just the capacity to feel something. Why can't we just get what we ask for? Why don’t emotions come with warnings? Labels instructing us how much we are allowed to consume in a hour, the same way that zolpidem and doxepine do. Why can't one ever have enough? The bottle says “take one “ and you take three. Why the fuck would you take three? Why on earth would anyone want to be numb? I learned the reason why and I hope you keep on reading so you can see what I see. Pain is my best friend, she sleeps with me, she eats with me, she is my partner in crime. She’s a real bitch though; most times I wish that she’d go away and leave me alone. I’ve had enough of pain. So I told her to leave and she did. I’ve met a new friend his name is love. He consumes me, he always succeeds in getting the best out of me and he brings so much light into my gloom He said that he is a good guy of pain and that sometimes they catch up for a cup of coffee, sometimes they even have bonfires. God I hate that bitch. Just when I thought I’ve gotten rid of her she returns and with love. I tell love “I don’t want her here when I’m with you” he stares at me and says “you can never just get one of us, we come together just like a mother who can't abort her child.” I didn’t understand what he meant, they were completely different why the hell will he want to spend so much time with pain? that’s when I realize that I was done with love so I told him to leave and he did. I met a guy and his name was time, he stood around for a while and it was good but with time I needed just a little bit of patience. so I searched but I didn’t know where to find him. So he left. I searched my whole life looking for gladness but I was told that I can only find her with help from pain, love, time , and patience. How is that possible? I asked. “I don’t want them in life they vanished all of them are gone now, so I feel nothing.” Why is it that we cant just feel what we want to feel why cant we just have one thing? This is what life whispered in my ears, she just whispered she never told me everything. “You can never know happiness if you don’t hang out with pain, with patience and time you’ll surely find love.” “So why in the world would anyone want to feel numb?” I asked “ Its because once we get a pinch of any emotion that we were lacking to express, our throat would never find it easy to gulp down it..