What if, in another universe,

 

 

What if, in another universe, I deserve you?

Maybe there's a universe where you hold my hand while I give birth to our daughter in a white hospital room with pink flowers and fuzzy teddy bears on the window sill. Where we take family vacations and pose for dorky pictures in our neon bathing suits on the sands of a Florida beach. Where we curl up to watch a cheesy movie at the end of a long day in our big, green, suburban house once the kids have fallen asleep

Maybe there's a universe where that's the life I want. Where I don't second guess everything and I'm not afraid of commitment and of the future and of love. Maybe there's a universe without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence.

Maybe there's a universe where I'm the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where no one becomes a doormat. Where both of us can shed our baggage and curiosity and issues.

Maybe there's a universe where we fall asleep next to each other every night like spoons, like two innocent bunnies — my face buried in your neck, hugging your warmth — and we both don't want anything or anybody else. Where we don't want more, we just want each other.

You just found me in the wrong universe.

If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe — just this one — where we don't end up together. Here and now just happens to be it. If you think of it this way, nothing is our fault.

Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.

__ Thought catalog

~Orchid