Mjhe aj bhi yad hy...

Mjhe aj bhi yad hy...
Rone k liye kisi khas jga ko makhtas na kiya tha..
Ansu bina puche, hr lamha mere chehre ko bheegoye rakhte the...
Me us se ek akhri bar bat krna chahti thi.. bus ek br.. k wo mjhe kahe... "Han kaho"
Or mein bina saans liye sb keh dun.. mein kehna chahti thi... Use btana chahti thi..
K meri saans ruk rhi hai.. mera dam ghut raha hai.. jese koi adam khor apne tez shikanjon se mere dil ko daboch raha ho..
Jese kisi kaley ilm k sabab rafta rafta mere seene mein keeley paiwast ki jarhi hon..
Mein cheekh rhi hun mgr awaz kb bahar arhi hai...
Mein pukaar rhi hun, "mjhe wehshaton k is band kamron se nikal lo"
Mgr kon sun raha hai?
Me sisak rhi hun, bilkul aese jese mar jane k bad koi gunahon ki saza bhugat'te hue sisakta ho bilakta ho.. mgr zinda rehne wale use mehez ek be-jaan be-harkat jism smjh rhe hon...
Mein tarap rhi thi... Bht tarap rhi thi..
Bin pani k tapti rait pr jese machli ko tarapta chor diya jaye.. uske mar jane k intezar mein... Thek wese hi....
Chalis din k sougwaar matam k bad, jb koi awaz koi sahara mjh tk na barha.. me shikwe ki aag mein phir bhi jalti hui bhatakti rahi...
Hr simt se na-umeed ho kr mene shikwon ki potli kamar se band kr Allah hu Akbr ki sada lagayi.. mjhe umeed thi.. kuch muthi bhar umeed... K shayad jawab, koi sahara mjhe agey barh kr tham le ga...
Meri sada ki bulandangi pr mere ansu nikle, khoob nikle, dupatta tar hua jb tk sajde ki bari ayi..
Tarapti rooh ko sukoon kisi surat na mila tha..
Sajda krne sir zameen se lgaya to be-sakhta ansuon k sath meri awaz bhi sare pehre tor kr bahar ko lapki thi... Us roz se Sajdon mein rona meri adat hi ban gyi thi...
Dil mein bus ek sawal tha..
"Kyun Allah ji.. kyun ap ne mjhe us se door kiya.. kyun is jaan leva judai ko mera muqaddar bnaya.. kyun Allah ji kyun? Ap to mera maan the.. mera bharosa.. mere yaqeen ki pukhta zameen... Kyun use jane se na roka.. kyun mjhe tarapta chor diya.. k na sans ati hai na pori tarah tham jati hai... Akhir kyun kiya mere sath aesa....!"
Phir namaz k ikhtetaam pr.. isi tarah k hazar shikwe..
Mgr mjal thi k jawab milta.. uska arsh khamosh tha.. bilkul khamosh.. jese wo mere sath ki gayi is na-insafi pr pasheimaan na hone wala tha.. jese usne kaha ho...
"Teri laakh tarap sahi... Mgr jo meri raza!"