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Monday, September 23, 2019

It bugs me how we keep on saying



It bugs me how we keep on saying, and go on preaching others about kindness and empathy without realizing the depth of these two words.
The last 2 years of my life were everything about understanding these two words. It took me whole lot of 2 years to finally get what kindness means, what empathy holds. And I began to notice all the unkind behaviours around me with a new vision. I remember the night I was with my nano in the hospital.. and that one night, in that ward, taught me everything about how humans are, and how humans should be. What kindness looks like. How important its very essence is . How it should be the very matter of being a human. I remember the nurses, and I all-too-well remember those patients. I have this incredibly bitter memory of the way the patients were being dealt by the staff. There was this one woman, looked 70+ to me. This poor lady was on dialysis. With full body paralysis, she couldn't speak. The old woman had a lone son, as it seemed to me, who wasn't allowed inside the ward as it was an all-female-ward obviously. So she, one helpless creature, was completely at the mercy of those nurses.
The nurses had to draw blood from her hand. One of them mercilessly held her hand while the old woman continued to scream at the top of her throat and the other one kept on laughing and saying "budhi ki cheekhen to suno". This behaviour left me confused. I couldn't understand the reason behind this disrespectful attitude and an act of unkindness,. as I, as a medico, know for a fact that they must've been taught kindness as their first lesson in medical school. I asked them as to what this behaviour was, onto which they replied "ap ko nahin pata y budhyan aise hi manti hn, nakhre hn bs"
It killed me there. Looking back at the memory, I think to myself, only if the old woman had been deaf so she wouldn't have had to hear the unkind words that were spoken to, and about her by the nurses.
I don't know what happened to that woman afterwards but still to this day, whenever that scene crosses my mind, I pray for her. If she's alive may God give her helping hands around her. If she's not, may she rest in peace.

I remember one time we were at Tariq Road. There was this handicapped man selling accessories and pens etc. The peculiarity was that he was crawling on his legs with the stand in one of his hands. On the road side, a car came and almost hit him. He was aged enough to not say anything. But then a young boy got out of the car and started shouting at the poor, hardworking man, even though it had been his own mistake. He was the one driving recklessly.

I remember seeing a woman, a few days back in the heaviest rainfall of Karachi. She struggled to get out of a rikshaw due to the rough weather. While doing so, she fell out of the vehicle. She had many stuff and packages with her. Some fell with her and some were still in the rikshaw. Instead of helping the lady, the rikshaw driver loudly yelled at her "aman saman jldi nikalo' der horhi hai".

I remember these all and I remember a lot more. They have taught me about kindness. How important it is. How it's impossible for us humans to be humans without having this trait in ourselves. Hospitals have taught me to be empathetic with ones in there. And life, with each passing day, is teaching me to be kind with everyone around me.

I pray this independence day, may we be able to learn the very essence of kindness. Because, well we need it. :)



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